As you may know, November First marks the beginning of my official Eggnog Drinking Season.

It is important to put a start date on this fantastic event because eggnog creeps into grocery stores a couple days earlier each year… sometimes it can be sighted in last few days of september, when I’m still wearing shorts and pretending it’s summer.  By mid october it is not uncommon to see large posters advertising eggnog-themed drinks at Starbucks, and but November first a person can reliably find fresh, delicious eggnog steamed into any number of artisan coffee beverages at any coffee shop on the block.

In Seattle, at least.

I realized the other day that I had managed to get a solid 3 weeks into the Eggnog Drinking Season without consuming a single Eggnog Latte.  I decided that this madness had gone long enough and managed to dress myself and leave the apartment by 3pm.  After 3pm, coffee drinking can be a risky affair, causing me to feel wide awake all evening and never go to bed.

Across the street from my apartment is a heavily frequented coffee shop called Jacks, specializing in “Stir Brew” coffee.  Having enjoyed their delicious lattes, I figured this was the best spot to offer me my celebratory eggnog.  Of course, they have a very specific kind of operation, and don’t have a lot of the flavoring syrups and other accouterments which larger enterprises carry.  I asked them if they had eggnog, and sadly they responded that they did not.

Not so easily discouraged, I moved on.  The area of my apartment boasts at least ten solid cafes that have some kind of espresso available.  I went down the street to Joe’s Coffee.

“Do you have eggnog?”  I asked the barista, a hipster type with curly bleached blonde hair.

“No,” she responded.

“Do you know of another place that might?”  I was not interested in going to every coffee shop in the 10014 zip code.

“What do you mean?” she asked.  “What do you want to do with it?”

“You know…” A bad feeling was creeping in. “Put it in coffee… like a latte or something?”

She was completely baffled by the idea.  “You could try Starbucks I guess?”

Not a bad suggestion, but not really what I wanted to do.  Starbucks is fine, but generally not amazing, and I prefer to buy things from smaller shops when they are available.  I stepped outside the cafe and pulled out my phone.  Maybe with a more targeted search I could do a bit better.  As I fumbled with the map on the phone, a middle aged man stopped beside me.

“Can I help you find something?” he asked.

“Well, maybe… I don’t know… I’m looking for a place where I can buy an eggnog latte.”

“Ha!” he smiled.  “My wife also likes eggnog lattes.  There aren’t a lot of places to get them.  You probably have to go to Starbucks.”

I thanked him for trying to help and puzzled on what to do next.  The situation was confounding.  The problem was not a lack of eggnog in coffee shops – it ran much, much deeper than that.  The problem was that people had never heard of an eggnog latte.  They had never considered adding eggnog to coffee.  In the meantime, precious minutes were ticking away, bringing me even further past my 3pm coffee drinking deadline!  I decided to try one more spot before giving in to Starbucks.

Across the street was another small cafe – more like a restaurant than a coffee shop, but I thought maybe I should change my tactic a bit.  A couple people were enjoying happy hour food and drinks at one of the four small tables inside.  I walked up to the tiny bar and was glad to see an espresso machine behind it.  The server greeted me with a slight Brooklyn accent.  “You guys have espresso right?” I verified.

“Yes! Would you like one?”

“Do you have eggnog?”

“Egg what?”  She wrinkled her forehead and looked around.

“Egg Nog” I tried to say more clearly, in case the music had muffled my voice.

“I’m sorry, I’m not from around here,” she said, sidling up to another employee of the cafe, looking to be a cook or bartender sort.  The second server looked up.

“What are you looking for?” She asked.

“Egg nog?”  responded.

“No, I don’t think we have egg… nug.” she said.

So there we had it.  Things really could not be much worse.  They had not even HEARD of eggnog.  They did not even know decisively if they had it or not because they were not previously aware that it existed.  They could not even pronounce the word “eggnog”.

I thanked them and headed to the nearest Starbucks.  It greeted me warmly with offerings of an Eggnog Latte, listed first on the menu of seasonal drinks.